Saturday, February 6, 2010

Symbolism of the coming weeks

In a couple of days i will be flying for what feels as a final time to Buenos Aires, Argentina. It's with mixed emotions. Because on one hand i feel i still haven't left the time that i lived there behind. The time leading upt ot go there and during that time were the most intense times of my life. The place of also my greatest love in life. It makes it difficult to be in those surroundings because inevitably it's a thinking back of those times. In that sense it must be a last time.

But it is also symbolically the place to find the ultimate love of ones life in the person of Christ. Did i leave a woman behind it was the Queen of Heaven, Our Lady who took me on this path by inspiring me to buy a Rosary. The Most Holy Rosary, i must make another post about it later :)

I chose the dates for this vacation because it includes the start of Lent. This trip will also be a tribute to Our Lady of Lujan. And i intend to go to Lujan (just outside the city) as well. So it starts in one of the biggest and busiest cities of the world. And then as the 40 days progress there will be more and more detachment. March 10th will be my last working day at the place where i work now. Remarkably that officially it ends on Maundy Thursday, the start of Our Lords Passion. The weeks after the 10th i'll have paid leave. On one hand necessary to find continuation in work for after Easter. Although at this moment everything after Easter doesn't seem to exist. On the other hand it's also a time to be able to prepare for my Baptism, Confirmation and First Communion. And then Holy Week spending daily in church, with the last few days in a monastery away from the world.

And then comes this Holy Saturday. Santa Gemma died on a Holy Saturday (although it was April 11th instead of the 3rd). Holy Mass in the morning and then in the evening before the altar with on one hand, it feels, Our Lady (holding the Rosary) and on the other hand Santa Gemma (wearing her relic). For months now i have been trying to imagine what it all entails, what it means, how it will be. and yes i do have a script of things i would like to do that day and prayers i would like to say at specific moments. Up to the moment directly before my Baptism and just after Holy Communion. Latin prayers inspired by True Devotion to Mary of St Grignion de Montfort. But also a realization that i must let go at that moment and just be there. Aware of my nothingness and with true contrition. With true longing. And maybe all that i plan will be different at that moment. Fiat voluntas tua.

Our Lady in the bristling of a city and Our Lady at the moment of meeting Jesus as close as you can on this world. Maybe those of you devoted to the Blessed Virgin can grasp what She means. To all others i can only say. Don't be afraid. Devotion to Mary is the perfection in the adoration of Christ. Showing affection to His Mother Whom He loves so much can only be pleasing to Him. And She will always point at Him as the Centre of all things. There is nothing i do without Her. And it has filled me with a richness already beyond my dreams.

I do want to memorize the Angelic Salutation (Ave Maria) in Spanish. I say one for the people of Argentina:

Ave María, llena de gracia,
el Señor está contigo,
bendita tú entre las mujeres
y bendito el fruto de tu vientre,
Jesucristo.

Santa María, madre de Dios
ruega por nosotros pecadores,
ahora y en la hora de nuestra muerte.
Amén.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Posting in a bit

Having been posting for a bit. There is much to write about again. In a week from now i'm having my vacation and then also much time to make some new posts. Bear with me!

Saturday, January 2, 2010

But we live in this world.... Part 2

Last wednesday i posted about the first reading of Mass of that day. Posted it because it struck me in a way. Especially the latter part as described in that post about distancing oneself from the world. This we find in the saints and in religious life in general. And not just Christian religion. A thought occurred to write this reading to a friend who is converting with his family from Protestantism to Catholicism. He is very much into finding the foundations in the Bible for Catholic standpoints so he can give a decent answer when confronted with questions and critizism. I dismissed the idea to write.

Now yesterday in Mass for some reason the ribbon for the first reading was not placed on the right day. The lector started reading and it took me a moment to realize, because it was in Dutch, that he was reading the exact same reading from wednesday. He told me afterwards he had been reading it realizing it was not the reading for that day but read it anyway because he thought that this was probably as the celebrating priest had wanted it. This was not the case. But when it was read and i realized this it was like huh?? What are the odds you are so busy with a text and then it pops up again due to an apparent misunderstanding about the reading?

Coincidence? An act of God? Anyway it gives me the distinct impression to look at it more closely and i will send it to this friend.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Felice Anno Nuovo!

Happy New Year! Feliz Año Nuevo! or in Santa Gemma's language: Felice Anno Nuovo!

Scribe, Domina, vulnera tua in corde meo, ut in eis legam dolorem et amorem: dolorem, ad sustinendum per te omnem dolorem: amorem, ad contemnendum per te omnem amorem.

Imprint, O Lady, thy wound upon my heart, that I may read therein sorrow and love: sorrow, to endure every sorrow for thee; love, to despise every love for thee.

(From the Litany of Our Lady of Sorrows)

Today is the Solemnity of the Mother of God. It occurred to me yesterday evening, hours before the start of the new year, that it would be nice to make a personal dedication for this year. My first thought was to dedicate it to Our Lady. This year for me will center around Easter when i will be baptized, confirmed and the day of my First Communion. At the time of the Passion of Jesus and His resurrection. And when you consider this Passion one also must not forget the sorrows of Our Lady (makes me think St Paul of the Cross). Therefore to dedicate this year to Our Lady of Sorrows seems fitting. Furthermore it connects to St Gabriel (Possenti) of Our Lady of Sorrows, and then of course also to St Gemma.

September 15th is the Memorial of Our Lady of Sorrows and is a day after The Triumph of the Cross. And so my goal is now to be that week in Lucca, Italy. With a special personal gift to Our Lady of Sorrows at the tomb of Santa Gemma. Of which i will not speak until after the event. (sorry folks!) I pray that it will be financially possible and also that i will be able to have that week off from whatever work i will be doing at that time. Since that stops in Holy Week. Easter marks a double letting go of the past in that sense.

But to stay with this special day: Hail to The Mother of God! May She intercede on our behalf. Amen.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

But we live in this world....

First reading for Mass of today: 1 Jn 2:12-17

"12 I am writing to you, children, because your sins have been forgiven through his name.
13 I am writing to you, fathers, because you have come to know the One who has existed since the beginning. I am writing to you, young people, because you have overcome the Evil One.
14 I have written to you, children, because you have come to know the Father. I have written to you, parents, because you have come to know the One who has existed since the beginning. I have written to you, young people, because you are strong, and God's word remains in you, and you have overcome the Evil One.
15 Do not love the world or what is in the world. If anyone does love the world, the love of the Father finds no place in him,
16 because everything there is in the world -- disordered bodily desires, disordered desires of the eyes, pride in possession -- is not from the Father but is from the world.
17 And the world, with all its disordered desires, is passing away. But whoever does the will of God remains for ever."

Verbum Domini
Deo Gratias

On the brink of the new year this couldn't be more fitting on a personal level. It summarises the last year and also inhibits the promises for the future.

The latter part, starting with verse 15 is a part which we recognize from the Saints. It is that part which most find difficult, if not impossible, to live up to. I had a discussion with a colleague about it. "But we live in this world..." was the comment. I didn't really succeed in explaining. But here in these verses it is written.

The odd thing is that ever since Christmas it's like the birth of Christ was also the birth of a certain awareness. Never did i feel Christ so near. But also it's a kind of detachment from things which before i was looking how to accomplish. On one hand it gives an increase of inner peace, a confidence i'm on the right track. However, on the other hand i also notice i find it more difficult to operate within the normalities of this world. I feel uneasy, even sometimes annoyed, by behaviour which is totally focussed on possessions and money. Also i'm noticing i'm turning (even) more inward. The amount time in prayer increases. More and more time i find time to pray in spare moments, like while traveling, in the short elevator ride at work etc.

The last verse 17 speaks of doing the will of God. Which is also detachment from this world. And that is part of carrying ones cross in the footsteps of Jesus. Not for Saints but for all. Easy? I would be the last one to say that. But there are always things we can do in this matter. Some more than others.

Adoro Te Devote

Adoro te devote, latens Deitas, quae sub his figuris vere latitas: tibi se cor meum totum subiicit, quia te contemplans totum deficit.

Visus, tactus, gustus in te fallitur, sed auditu solo tuto creditur; credo quidquid dixit Dei Filius: nil hoc verbo Veritatis verius.

In cruce latebat sola Deitas, at hic latet simul et humanitas; ambo tamen credens atque confitens, peto quod petivit latro paenitens.

Plagas, sicut Thomas, non intueor; Deum tamen meum te confiteor; fac me tibi semper magis credere, in te spem habere, te diligere.

O memoriale mortis Domini! panis vivus, vitam praestans homini! praesta meae menti de te vivere et te illi semper dulce sapere.

Pie pellicane, Iesu Domine, me immundum munda tuo sanguine; cuius una stilla salvum facere totum mundum quit ab omni scelere.

Iesu, quem velatum nunc aspicio, oro fiat illud quod tam sitio; ut te revelata cernens facie, visu sim beatus tuae gloriae. Amen.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Detachment from things

This Christmas time is especially difficult this year. Now that for the first time i realize it's true meaning. Yes it's good to have a good time with people together but is it all about presents and decorations and dinners? It seems so. Commercials, plans from people around you. It all suddenly seems so empty.

When you think about the Nativity, the light of this world which shines for the first time through the eyes of the Son of God. Held by His mother, Maria forever virgin, and Joseph in his beautiful role near. The appearance of angels to the sheppards. If you only imagine that sight. What a profound effect this must have had on them.

Although i wish everyone a good time, especially this time of the year, i'm filled with sadness. But this was already the case before this time of the year. Sorrow for the lack of love for each other, the greed, the talk about the new car or cellphone. To be honest it appalls me.

At work this is a daily occurrance. During lunch around noon i try to seperate myself to have a few minutes to pray the Angelus. 2 to 3 minutes are hard to find. Yet i do find them. It's difficult to come back in the "normal" routine. Normal between quotes on purpose.

I feel like i'm wasting my time. I'd rather do something which is truly helpful to others. With time in between for prayer.

Yesterday because of a technical difficulty with the train i couldn't go to the morning Mass. It gave me the opportunity to go to the Tridentine Mass in the late afternoon. Meeting the new rector, who is an interesting man. In his homily he had mentioned the sacrifice of the individual for the many. After Mass there was coffee and someone brought this up. A discussion about how this could be explained. Stories about soldiers ina war etc. Intellectual talk but i didn't say anything. I had to think about the 4th bead of the Most Holy Rosary: Ardent Charity. Renouncement of the individual for the purpose of helping others. And think about the soul victims, suffering for the salvation of others.

Yes i'm a thinker and do a lot inward. I cannot determine whether this process is a normal one. I just notice it happens. Maybe it is normal if you take the words of Christ truly at heart. That you become aware of the lack of love, the absence of God in the lifes of others.

Ponders on....

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Actus Contritionis

Deus meus, ex toto corde paenitet me omnium meorum peccatorum, eaque detestor, quia peccando, non solum poenas a Te iuste statutas promeritus sum, sed praesertim quia offendi Te, summum bonum, ac dignum qui super omnia diligaris. Ideo firmiter propono, adiuvante gratia Tua, de cetero me non peccaturum peccandique occasiones proximas fugiturum. Amen.


O My God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee and I detest all my sins because of Thy just punishments, but most of all because they offend Thee, my God, who art all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of Thy grace, to sin no more and avoid the near occasions of sin. Amen.

Guard thine eyes...

"Remember to guard thine eyes and reflect that the mortified eye shall behold the beauties of Heaven" Thus spoke the Guardian Angel of Santa Gemma on an occasion to her.

Now, i've been trying to put this in practice. But how difficult this can be! Thusfar i fail miserably. I'm very visually oriented by nature. So to ask to guard ones senses, and especially the eyes, seems an impossible task.

To understand what is meant is already a challenge. After all the eyes do play an important role. It is considered polite to look the other in the eye while speaking for example. Further it is through the eyes that one can wonder and enjoy the beauties of Creation. Not to mention the sheer usefulness in order to stay safe, for example in traffic.

I believe what is meant that we must be aware that it is also the senses which can lead us into temptation and from there into sin. Unfortunately i know how easy that can be. It's constant vigilance and sometimes my eye already captured something. It's then crucial to be aware of it and to quickly divert attention. And still then sometimes i notice i've entered a train of thought in which i shouldn't have.

It's not something you just do. It's like relearning something which you have been taught, or taught yourself, sometimes for decades. With time it can be learned. It's not a loss but a detachment from earthly things. "...shall behold the beauties of Heaven" And that is something which is difficult to comprehend. Yet it's also something worth making this important effort for. "Something" is not the word is it? How can we possibly comprehend such beauty?

Will it take time to learn to guard the senses? O yes. Could be years, maybe a lifetime. And things can be thrown on your path to try to make you go wrong. I have no doubt this will happen. It already has. Saying to myself "STOP IT!" And then i try to picture Jesus Crucified and and remind myself that i must stop for Him. And when already i find myself in this train of thought i feel sorrow and hate myself for letting it come too far. It is surprising how easy this can be unfortunately. Over and over it's a standing up and trying again. For this alone i would have to go to confession daily.

Monday, November 30, 2009

The Vain Judgments of Men

In the light of last sunday and my struggle how to conduct myself before others i just read this from The Imitation of Christ Book 3.

"The Voice of Christ

MY CHILD, trust firmly in the Lord, and do not fear the judgment of men when conscience tells you that you are upright and innocent. For it is good and blessed to suffer such things, and they will not weigh heavily on the humble heart that trusts in God rather than in itself. Many men say many things, and therefore little faith is to be put in them.

Likewise, it is impossible to satisfy all men. Although Paul tried to please all in the Lord, and became all things to all men, yet he made little of their opinions. He labored abundantly for the edification and salvation of others, as much as lay in him and as much as he could, but he could not escape being sometimes judged and despised by others. Therefore, he committed all to God Who knows all things, and defended himself by his patience and humility against the tongues of those who spoke unjustly or thought foolish things and lies, or made accusations against him. Sometimes, indeed, he did answer them, but only lest his silence scandalize the weak.

Who are you, then, that you should be afraid of mortal man? Today he is here, tomorrow he is not seen. Fear God and you will not be afraid of the terrors of men. What can anyone do to you by word or injury? He hurts himself rather than you, and no matter who he may be he cannot escape the judgment of God. Keep God before your eyes, therefore, and do not quarrel with peevish words.

If it seems, then, that you are worsted and that you suffer undeserved shame, do not repine over it and do not lessen your crown by impatience. Look instead to heaven, to Me, Who have power to deliver you from all disgrace and injury, and to render to everyone according to his works."

A Prayer for Enlightening the Mind

This is from The Imitation of Christ Book 3. It's fitting because it signifies exactly what keeps me most busy at the moment.

"Enlighten me, good Jesus, with the brightness of internal light, and take away all darkness from the habitation of my heart. Restrain my wandering thoughts and suppress the temptations which attack me so violently. Fight strongly for me, and vanquish these evil beasts—the alluring desires of the flesh—so that peace may come through Your power and the fullness of Your praise resound in the holy courts, which is a pure conscience. Command the winds and the tempests; say to the sea: “Be still,” and to the north wind, “Do not blow,” and there will be a great calm.
Send forth Your light and Your truth to shine on the earth, for I am as earth, empty and formless until You illumine me. Pour out Your grace from above. Shower my heart with heavenly dew. Open the springs of devotion to water the earth, that it may produce the best of good fruits. Lift up my heart pressed down by the weight of sins, and direct all my desires to heavenly things, that having tasted the sweetness of supernal happiness, I may find no pleasure in thinking of earthly things.
Snatch me up and deliver me from all the passing comfort of creatures, for no created thing can fully quiet and satisfy my desires. Join me to Yourself in an inseparable bond of love; because You alone can satisfy him who loves You, and without You all things are worthless."

This very much made me think of a prayer of Santa Gemma for forgiveness of sins.

"My Jesus, I place all my sins before You.
In my estimation they do not deserve pardon,
but I ask You to close Your eyes to my want of merit
and open them to your infinite merit.
Since You willed to die for my sins,
grant me forgiveness for all of them.
Thus, I may no longer feel the burden of my sins,
a burden that oppresses me beyond measure.

Assist me, dear Jesus, for I desire
to become good no matter what the cost.
Take away, destroy, and utterly root out
whatever You find in me that is contrary to Your holy will.
At the same time, dear Jesus, illumine me
so that I may walk in Your holy light."

St Gemma Galgani, Pray for us!

Come home for Christmas

The article below came across and inspired me to invite others to join in this Novena to St Monica from December 12th-20th for those distant from parish life.

Allow me to quote from the source:

"Catholic Mothers Inspired By St Monica To Pray For A Homecoming This Christmas

The Bishop responsible for the work of Evangelisation in England and Wales is inviting Catholic mothers to pray for those who are distant from parish life.

Speaking to coincide with the launch of the now annual 'Come Home For Christmas' campaign, Bishop Kieran Conry said:

"St Monica is the Patron Saint of Resting Catholics – she was a faithful wife and mother who prayed for years for her son to embrace the Christian faith. God answered her pleas and St Augustine became a great role model for generations of Christians throughout the ages."

“Monica reminds each one of us of the importance and power of Christian prayer, but also of the necessity to be patient. She teaches us that no matter how long it takes we are to be positively engaged - through prayer, love and invitation - in supporting those who are 'resting' Catholics to reconnect with their local Christian community. Motivated by and offering love, I encourage Mothers in particular, but all of us can participate, in nine days of prayer from 12th - 20th December. By the grace of God let's pray that thousands experience a deep encounter with the living God and that the invitations we issue to 'come home' are warmly received."

Come Home for Christmas is a seasonal outreach initiative which aims to offer a welcome to Catholics who for different reasons no longer or rarely attend Mass. Resourced by the Catholic Agency to Support Evangelisation (CASE), it provides outreach posters and invitation cards for Catholic parishes and a bespoke website for those wanting to explore reconnecting with parish life (for the latter see: www.comehomeforchristmas.co.uk).

St Monica lived in the fourth century in North Africa as a wife and mother of three children. She is revered by mothers because of her tireless prayers for the conversion of her son, Augustine of Hippo. In his teens he joined a sect which taught the Manichæan heresy* and lived a life far from Jesus’ teaching. For 12 years she stormed heaven with her prayers and tears, begging God to bring her son back to the Catholic Faith. Eventually Monica's prayers were answered.

Whilst in Milan, Augustine came under the influence of the bishop, St Ambrose. Augustine turned away from his old life and embraced Christianity, later becoming a bishop; he was declared a saint and Doctor of the Church serving as an inspiration to those who desire to turnaround their lives in a radical way. One of his most famous writing is his Confessions in which he wrote: “Our hearts are restless till they find rest in You.” (Book 1:1)

Veronica Williams is the founder member of Mothers’ Prayers which is an international prayer group for mothers, whose members join together in prayer around the world. She said: “We know that prayer works and are therefore very happy to support this initiative by promoting this novena. In our network we have hundreds and thousands of mothers praying in small groups united in prayer, and we have seen many mothers who because of their concern for their children come to our prayer groups and rediscover their faith.”

Other participating partners are the National Board of Catholic Women and The Union of Catholic Mothers.

For more information about the novena and outreach materials for parishes please see: www.caseresources.org.uk"

Sunday, November 29, 2009

A moment within

First sunday of Advent, the day of my Rite of Acceptance into the Order of Catechumens: Worried if it was vain to wear the Rosary and the relic of Santa Gemma. Yet without Our Lady and Santa Gemma i would not have been standing there in front of the congregation with 7 others (including the sponsors). Right under the Cross. Answering 3 questions and affirmation by the sponsors. A sign of the Cross on the forehead by the preciding priest and concluding prayer.

Although i did follow what was happening, my mind was elsewhere. It was with Him literally above me. How could i stand? I should kneel!

Preparation for Holy Communion commenced. For the first time i went forward for a blessing, arms crossed. Corpus Cristi within arms length and yet still months away. Is it wrong to say i long more for my First Communion than the Baptism and Confirmation just before it? Voy Christo! in Spanish. Many times i think how this moment will be. Yet i also want to have no expectations.

Advent, I should focus on that. His Nativity at Christmas. Prepare for that last armslength in proper order.

Blessed Laura Vicuña

Last saturday the Holy Father received the presidents of Argentina and Chile, Christina Kirchner and Michelle Bachelet, in remembrance of the avoidance of war between the two countries now 25 years ago. This was greatly influenced by the mediation of the late Pope John Paul II.

Blessed Laura Vicuña was born in Chile and died in Argentina at the age of 12. Her story made me think about St Maria Goretti who died at almost the same age. She lived and died around the same time as St Gemma and St Maria Goretti.

"Laura Carmen Vicuña was born in Santiago, in Chile, on the 5th April 1891 to Joseph Domenico and Mercedes Pino. The Vicuña family were Chilean aristocrats, forced into exile by the revolution. They took refuge in Temuco in a poor house, but soon after Joseph Domenico died suddenly, and Mercedes had to take refuge with her two daughters in Argentina. They came to Junín de los Andes. Mercedes came to know the rather pushy Manuel Mora and accepted working for him, but also living with him.

In 1900 Laura went to board with her sister Julia Amanda with the Daughters of Mary Help of Christians at their school. She was a model pupil: prayerful, listened to the Sisters, available to her companions, always happy and ready to make sacrifices.

The following year she made her first communion with the same fervour and ideals as Saint Dominic Savio, whom she had taken as a model. she entered the Children of Mary. While one of the Sisters was explaining the sacrament of marriage during catechetics, Laura began to understand her mother’s sinful state, and fainted. She also understood because during the holidays on the farm her mother made her pray in secret, and never went to the sacraments. From then on Laura increased her prayers and sacrifices for her mother’s conversion. During the holidays in 1902 Manuel Mora threatened Laura’s virtue; she firmly refused him, sending him into a rage.

She went back to school as a student assistant, because he would no longer pay her fees. With all her heart she asked if she could become a Daughter of Mary Help of Christians, but she was denied this because of her mother’s living in sin. She offered her life to the Lord for her mother’s conversion, became more self-sacrificing, and with the consent of her confessor, Fr Crestanello, made private vows. Weak from sacrifices and from other sickness, she was hit by Mora for refusing him yet again. On her final night she confided: “Mamma, I am dying! For a long time I have asked Jesus, offering my life for you, so you will return to God... Mamma, before I die will I have the chance to see you repent?”. “Laura”, Mercedes answered, “ I promise I will do what you ask”. with this joy Laura died the evening of the 22nd January 1904.

Her body lies in the chapel belonging to the Daughters of Mary Help of Christians in Bahía Blanca. At the centenary of Don Bosco’s death, this chosen daughter, who had given her life for the virtue dearest to the Master, was proclaimed Blessed by John Paul II, on the 3rd September 1988."

(source salesianity.blogspot.com)

Beata Laura Vicuña, ruega por nosotros!

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Thomas à Kempis

Thomas à Kempis was a Catholic monk who lived in the 15th Century. He is probably best known by his writing The Imitation of Christ an excellent document on devotion and full of adoration for Christ. If you are familiar with the book True Devotion to Mary from St Louis Grignion de Montfort you certainly will be familiar with this book or phrases of it. He also copied the Bible at least four times. When you imagine this had to be done by hand it's quite an achievement.

What i didn't know and just stumbled upon was that the good man lived here not even 50 miles from where i'm living. What a small world! It keeps amazing me that you constantly discover things about the things you are reading and doing. And often answering those questions you were thinking of that day. Without searching, just going about the days business. Sometimes you pray and try so hard to get an answer and then suddenly it shows up. But sometimes one has to pay attention.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Feast of The Presentation of Mary

Today is the celebration of the Presentation of the Blessed Virgin. To be honest i had to look up the meaning and background of this feastday :)

The (online) Catholic Encyclopedia says: "Now, the Protoevangelium of James (7-8), and the writing entitled "De nativit. Mariae" (Evangelium de nativitate Mariae) (7-8), state that Joachim and Anna, faithful to a vow they had made, presented the child Mary in the Temple when she was three years old; that the child herself mounted the Temple steps, and that she made her vow of virginity on this occasion. St. Gregory of Nyssa and St. Germanus of Constantinople adopt this report; it is also followed by pseudo-Gregory of Nazianzus in his "Christus patiens". Moreover, the Church celebrates the Feast of the Presentation, though it does not specify at what age the child Mary was presented in the Temple, when she made her vow of virginity, and what were the special natural and supernatural gifts with which God endowed her. The feast is mentioned for the first time in a document of Manuel Commenus, in 1166; from Constantinople the feast must have been introduced into the western Church, where we find it at the papal court at Avignon in 1371; about a century later, Pope Sixtus IV introduced the Office of the Presentation, and in 1585 Pope Sixtus V extended the Feast of the Presentation to the whole Church."

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

A crucifix to the heart

How the saints can awaken the love for Our Lord! He works in such beautiful ways!

It is out of this love that i write. So much happens constantly. And i still pray: Speak to me Lord. Am i so blind to not see His works?

The week started on sunday at Mass when we heard that our rector (our parish priest) is going to pick up duties elsewhere. On a personal level this is so sad because he is at this time the only one i can really resonate with. But i am happy for those who will be able to welcome him. I wrote him and reminded him of something Jesus said to Saint Gemma. That His priests are His Dear Ones. I hope he understands. When i write i can get so full of fire. Later after sending i wonder if it was a good idea.

Tonight i saw the movie: Maria Goretti. She is another Passionist Saint who's live was shut short at young age being just a child. She taught me something about forgiveness. How difficult this can be. Especially for those who offend you and hurt you. But isn't it that exactly those people needs Jesus' love the most? If we can find it in ourselves to forgive them. And i mean truly forgive them, not just mere words. Wouldn't that be a beautiful gift to Him?

Today again i emailed with my ex from Argentina. It's strange to say "ex" actually. She lives with someone else yet we know and expressed we still love each other. Yet i asked her to look forward and focus on her current relationship. We were wondering why everything happened as it did. The truth is that through everything that happened i would find Our Lord. And how a great a present is it when she wrtes that she holds an image of our crucified Jesus at her heart in the evening? Even though part me wishes that she woulod be my wife i know that there can be no greater gift than seeing her find Jesus and embrace Him. Love Him and cherish Him. And for this love she already has for Him i forfit everything.

He works in miraculous ways. Sometimes we like to see it in ways we, i could say, we want to dictate. But that's not how it goes. To have faith and pray. And even if we doubt sometimes if He hears us we can trust He does.

There is one more thing i would like to write. This is about Holy Communion. As you may have understood from earlier posts i am in the proces of preparation for baptism. Saint Gemma wrote that the Eucharist is "a school of paradise where one learns how to love". At this time i'm looking through the window into this class. We can also read how profound the longing and the actual First Communion was for Santa Gemma. I do feel this longing to some degree. It is difficult to feel the Lord so close during Holy Communion and still not being allowed to participate. "Domine, non sum dignus...." ("Lord, i am not worthy...") But Your Love is so infinite. I patiently wait o.. Lord. In the meantime you pull me closer to You and teach me.

May we all hold Him close to our heart.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Fiducea Mea

Mater Mea, non sum dignus....

Virgo clemens, how often have i made you weep! Even recently! How often have i broken your confidence? Mother, i don't even dare to look at your face. How deeply must i have offended Our Lord? Time and time again... The creatures in the sand are more worthy of His promises than me.

Sancta Dei Genetrix, how constantly i struggle to walk straight on the road! Not having been able to carry the smallest of crosses. Am i simply to weak?

Regina Sanctissimi Rosarii, i weep on every bead because i feel i don't understand. Deliver me from his claws. My heart is drenched in tears for the sins i have committed.

Refugium peccatorum, pray for me, comfort me. Pray that He may open my eyes. That He may have mercy, and in all His Goodness embrace me.

Fiducia Mea, yet you surround me with Your Motherly love. Like with Santa Gemma when You held her in Your mantle when Jesus bestowed this great grace on her. And although i weep i find consolation in every bead that slips through my fingers. Because i know You are with me.

Rosa mystica, how full of pride i am. I shall not walk the road but crawl like the creatures in the sand. And o, my words so cold and mindless! I shall no longer speak unless i must.

Virgo potens, protect me, because no doubt he will try harder to pull me off the road by my feet. Don't let him! Imperet illi Deus!

Deus, qui de beatae Mariae Virginis utero Verbum tuum, Angelo nuntiante, carnem suscipere voluisti: praesta supplicibus tuis; ut, qui vere eam Genetricem Dei credimus, eius apud te intercessionibus adiuvemur. Per Christum Dominum nostrum. Amen

Mother, i simply love You...

Saturday, October 31, 2009

November 2nd: All Souls' Day

Purgatory is something most of us don't think of. Maybe not even want to think of. When you really think about it it's overwhelming. The mere number of them there. Now that we are still here we have the opportunity to do something and maybe relieve some suffering or if God grants it release some from this immense suffering. After all it is not unlikely that we will have to spend time there as well. Wouldn't it be wonderful if then someone would pray for us as well?


From the group Catholicism on Facebook:

"Remember the Poor Souls!"

"We can never understand too clearly that every alms, small or great, which we give to the poor we give to God.

"He accepts it and rewards it as given to Himself. Therefore, all we do for the Holy Souls, God accepts as done to Himself. It is as if we had relieved or released Him from Purgatory. What a thought! How He will repay us!

"II. As there is no hunger, no thirst, no poverty, no need, no pain, no suffering to compare with what the Souls in Purgatory endure, so there is no alms more deserving, none more pleasing to God, none more meritorious for us than the alms, the prayers, the Masses we give to the Holy Souls.

"III. It is very possible that some of our own nearest and dearest ones are still suffering the excruciating pains of Purgatory and calling on us piteously for help and relief.

"Is it not dreadful that we are so hardened as not to think more about them, that we are so cruel as to deliberately forget them!

"For the dear Christ's sake, let us do all, but all, we can for them.

CHAPTER 1 : WHAT IS PURGATORY?

"It is a prison of fire in which nearly all [saved] souls are plunged after death and in which they suffer the intensest pain.

"Here is what the great Doctors of the Church tell us of Purgatory:

"So grievous is their suffering that one minute in this awful fire seems like a century.

"St. Thomas Aquinas, the Prince of Theologians, says that the fire of Purgatory is equal in intensity to the fire of Hell, and that the slightest contact with it is more dreadful than all the possible sufferings of this Earth!

"St. Augustine, the greatest of the Holy Doctors, teaches that to be purified of their faults previous to being admitted to Heaven, souls after death are subjected to a fire more penetrating, more dreadful than anything we can see, or feel, or conceive in this life.

"Though this fire is destined to cleanse and purify the soul, " adds the Holy Doctor, "still it is more acute than anything we could possibly endure on Earth. "

"St. Cyril of Alexandria does not hesitate to say that "it would be preferable to suffer all the possible torments of Earth until the Judgment day than to pass one day in Purgatory. "

"Another great Saint says: "Our fire, in comparison with the fire of Purgatory, is as a refreshing breeze."

"The other holy writers speak in identical terms of this awful fire.

HOW COMES IT THAT THE PAINS OF PURGATORY ARE SO SEVERE?

"1. The fire we see on Earth was made by the goodness of God for our comfort and well-being Still, when used as a torment, it is the most dreadful one we can imagine.

"2. The fire of Purgatory, on the contrary, was made by the Justice of God to punish and purify us and is, therefore, incomparably more severe.

"3. Our fire, at most, burns this gross body of ours, made of clay; whereas, the fire of Purgatory acts on the spiritual soul, which is unspeakably more sensitive to pain.

"4. The more intense our fire is, the more speedily it destroys its victim, who therefore ceases to suffer; whereas, the fire of Purgatory inflicts the keenest, most violent pain, but never kills the soul nor lessens its sensibility.

"5. Unsurpassingly severe as is the fire of Purgatory, the pain of loss or separation from God, which the souls also suffer in Purgatory, is far more severe. The soul separated from the body craves with all the intensity of its spiritual nature for God. It is consumed with an intense desire to fly to Him. Yet it is held back. No words can describe the anguish of this unsatisfied craving.

"What madness, therefore, it is for intelligent beings to neglect taking every possible precaution to avoid such a dreadful fate.

"It is puerile to say that it cannot be so, that we cannot understand it, that it is better not to think or speak of it. The fact remains always the same -- whether we believe it, or whether we do not -- that the pains of Purgatory are beyond everything we can imagine or conceive. These are the words of St. Augustine.

THE HOLY SOULS WILL LESSEN OUR PURGATORY

"Another great grace that they obtain for their helpers is a short and easy Purgatory, or possibly its complete remission!

"Saint John Massias, the Dominican lay brother, had a wonderful devotion to the Souls in Purgatory. He obtained by his prayers (chiefly by the recitation of the Rosary) the liberation of one million four hundred
thousand souls!

"In return, they obtained for him the most abundant and extraordinary graces and came at the hour of his death to help and console him and accompany him to Heaven.

"This fact is so certain that it was inserted by the Church in the bull of his beatification.

"The learned Cardinal Baronius recounts a similar incident.

"He was himself called to assist a dying gentleman. Suddenly, a host of blessed spirits appeared in the chamber of death, consoled the dying man and chased away the devils who sought, by a last desperate effort, to compass his ruin.

"When asked who they were, they made answer that they were 8,000 souls whom he had released from Purgatory by his prayers and good works. They were sent by God, so they said, to take him to Heaven without his passing one moment in Purgatory.

"St. Gertrude was fiercely tempted by the devil when she came to die. The evil spirit reserves a dangerous and subtle temptation for our last moments. As he could find no other ruse sufficiently clever with which to assail the Saint, he thought to disturb her beautiful peace of soul by suggesting that she would surely remain long years in the awful fires of Purgatory since, he reminded her, she had long ago made over all her suffrages to other souls. But Our Blessed Lord, not content with sending His Angels and the thousands of souls she had released to assist her, came Himself in person to drive away Satan and comfort His dear Saint. He told St. Gertrude that in exchange for all she had done for the Holy Souls, He would take her straight to Heaven and would multiply a hundredfold all her merits.

"Blessed Henry Suso, of the Dominican Order, made a compact with a fellow religious to the effect that, when one of the two died, the survivor would offer two Masses each week for his soul, and other prayers as well.

"It so fell out that his companion died first, and Blessed Henry commenced immediately to offer the promised Masses. These he continued to say for a long time. At last, quite sure that the soul of his saintly friend had reached Heaven, he ceased offering the Masses.

"Great was his sorrow and consternation when the soul of the dead brother appeared to him suffering intensely and chiding him for not celebrating the promised Masses. Blessed Henry replied with deep regret that he had not continued the Masses, believing that his friend must be enjoying the Beatific Vision but he added that he had ever remembered him in prayer.

"O dear Brother Henry, please give me the Masses, for it is the Precious Blood of Jesus that I most need!" cried out the suffering soul. Blessed Henry began anew and, with redoubled fervor, offered Masses and prayers for his friend until he received absolute certitude of his delivery.

"Then it was his turn to receive graces and blessings of all kinds from the dear brother he had relieved, and very many times more than he could have expected.

ALMS HELP THE HOLY SOULS

"St. Martin gave half of his cloak to a poor beggar, only to find out afterwards that it was to Christ he had given it. Our Lord appeared to him and thanked him.

"Blessed Jordan of the Dominican Order could never refuse to give an alms when it was asked in the Name of God. One day he had forgotten his purse. A poor man implored an alms for the love of God. Rather than refuse him, Jordan, who was then a student, gave him a most precious cincture or "girdle" which he prized dearly. Shortly after, he entered a church and found his cincture encircling the waist of an image of Christ Crucified. He, too, had given his alms to Christ. We all give our alms to Christ.

RESOLUTION

a) Let us give all the alms we can afford;
b) Let us have said all the Masses in our power;
c) Let us hear as many more as is possible;
d) Let us offer all our pains and sufferings for the relief of the Holy Souls.

"We shall thus deliver countless Souls from Purgatory, who will repay us ten thousand times over.

THE CURE OF A CANCER

"D. Joana de Menezes thus tells of her cure: She was suffering severely from a cancerous growth in the leg and was plunged in grief.

"Remembering what she had heard of the power of the Souls in Purgatory, she resolved to place all her confidence in them and had nine Masses offered for them. She promised, moreover, to publish news of her cure if it were granted.

"Gradually the swelling went down, and the tumor and cancer disappeared." ~ Fr. Paul O'Sullivan, "Read Me or Rue It"

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Devotion of a child

This needs no comment :)

(Click on image for a larger version)

Friday, October 23, 2009

Storia di S Gemma Galgani a "Miracoli"

A Youtube movie in Italian from Italian TV (i think) posted: October 22nd 2009. It has some nice footage of various places of Santa Gemma's life. Wishing i could speak Italian :)