Saturday, February 6, 2010

Symbolism of the coming weeks

In a couple of days i will be flying for what feels as a final time to Buenos Aires, Argentina. It's with mixed emotions. Because on one hand i feel i still haven't left the time that i lived there behind. The time leading upt ot go there and during that time were the most intense times of my life. The place of also my greatest love in life. It makes it difficult to be in those surroundings because inevitably it's a thinking back of those times. In that sense it must be a last time.

But it is also symbolically the place to find the ultimate love of ones life in the person of Christ. Did i leave a woman behind it was the Queen of Heaven, Our Lady who took me on this path by inspiring me to buy a Rosary. The Most Holy Rosary, i must make another post about it later :)

I chose the dates for this vacation because it includes the start of Lent. This trip will also be a tribute to Our Lady of Lujan. And i intend to go to Lujan (just outside the city) as well. So it starts in one of the biggest and busiest cities of the world. And then as the 40 days progress there will be more and more detachment. March 10th will be my last working day at the place where i work now. Remarkably that officially it ends on Maundy Thursday, the start of Our Lords Passion. The weeks after the 10th i'll have paid leave. On one hand necessary to find continuation in work for after Easter. Although at this moment everything after Easter doesn't seem to exist. On the other hand it's also a time to be able to prepare for my Baptism, Confirmation and First Communion. And then Holy Week spending daily in church, with the last few days in a monastery away from the world.

And then comes this Holy Saturday. Santa Gemma died on a Holy Saturday (although it was April 11th instead of the 3rd). Holy Mass in the morning and then in the evening before the altar with on one hand, it feels, Our Lady (holding the Rosary) and on the other hand Santa Gemma (wearing her relic). For months now i have been trying to imagine what it all entails, what it means, how it will be. and yes i do have a script of things i would like to do that day and prayers i would like to say at specific moments. Up to the moment directly before my Baptism and just after Holy Communion. Latin prayers inspired by True Devotion to Mary of St Grignion de Montfort. But also a realization that i must let go at that moment and just be there. Aware of my nothingness and with true contrition. With true longing. And maybe all that i plan will be different at that moment. Fiat voluntas tua.

Our Lady in the bristling of a city and Our Lady at the moment of meeting Jesus as close as you can on this world. Maybe those of you devoted to the Blessed Virgin can grasp what She means. To all others i can only say. Don't be afraid. Devotion to Mary is the perfection in the adoration of Christ. Showing affection to His Mother Whom He loves so much can only be pleasing to Him. And She will always point at Him as the Centre of all things. There is nothing i do without Her. And it has filled me with a richness already beyond my dreams.

I do want to memorize the Angelic Salutation (Ave Maria) in Spanish. I say one for the people of Argentina:

Ave María, llena de gracia,
el Señor está contigo,
bendita tú entre las mujeres
y bendito el fruto de tu vientre,

Santa María, madre de Dios
ruega por nosotros pecadores,
ahora y en la hora de nuestra muerte.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Posting in a bit

Having been posting for a bit. There is much to write about again. In a week from now i'm having my vacation and then also much time to make some new posts. Bear with me!